Drinking the night away {Chris}
Jun 23, 2008 14:12:25 GMT -5
Post by Addison Micklesen on Jun 23, 2008 14:12:25 GMT -5
Addie sighed softly as she sipped at her drink lightly, pretty much bored out of her mind. It was the second time in less than two weeks that she was at the Hurricane, and though she had a bit of bad memories about this place now, she figured she might as well suck it up because there were only two good clubs around the place where she could get in easily, which wasn’t necessarily something that happened very often seeing how small and young she looked. She’d only bought the minimum to buy one or two drinks this time though, not wanting to get drunk again – the hangover from the previous time had been enough to make her get a grip on herself for at least a few months – and knowing Milo wouldn’t be there to get her out of trouble this time if anything happened. Because Milo was out on a date. She smiled a bit at the thought and gave another sigh, drinking a bit more from the glass in her hands, toying with the straw she never used. She was happy that things seemed to be turning out fine for him and Taylor, though it could change easily and fast if Milo screwed up and got into another girl’s pants because his manhood took control over his brain, but she trusted him more than that. She knew he wouldn’t throw his chances with Taylor to the trash so easily. He was really into her.
No matter how happy she was about her best friend, though, it was nothing to make her feel better about herself. She knew Milo was right to be worried about her, but there was nothing she could do about it at this point. She could hardly control her actions and her thoughts anymore. She was becoming… someone that wasn’t her. She was normal. She looked normal, she acted normally, and she hated it. She wanted to stop, she wanted to be Addie again, not that stupid girl who looked exactly like her, minus the bright colored hair, but was only a scam. It wasn’t her. And she didn’t care about the rumors she heard around, either. Usually, rumors that bad she’d have tried to fight them. She’d have stood up for herself, she’d have yelled at every single person who’d caused it to be spread around the school. STD indeed. But she’d let Connor’s words get to her deeper than ever before. She tended to ignore what other people said, unless it was a close friend, and even then she argued until she just had to give in. And the mere fact that she was so affected by a crowd’s follower’s words sickened her to a certain extent.
There was, however, no denying that she’d fallen a bit harder than she’d planned to for Connor. She’d meant to control herself, to try and just be his friends with benefits like intended, to have no feelings, to just get the sex and be fine with it. She’d tried to keep herself from anything more than that, but it hadn’t turned out that way. She couldn’t say it was all lies anymore either. The way she’d acted after homecoming didn’t say ‘I don’t care about you, you were just a fuck’. It said ‘you got to me bad’. Worse than ever. And truth be told, she was scared shitless by all of it. She didn’t want to like him, not like that, because by now she knew there were no more chances of anything happening, not after her behavior. He’d just get himself another girl to sleep with and she’d be stuck faking orgasms for the rest of her life because there was no way sex could ever be as good with someone else than it’d been with him. And even her mother, her mother who hardly ever understood her daughter, her mother who never noticed anything, had asked her if something was wrong because of the last email she’d sent. That, all in all, was downright scary. She had to do something, and it had to happen fast.
No matter how happy she was about her best friend, though, it was nothing to make her feel better about herself. She knew Milo was right to be worried about her, but there was nothing she could do about it at this point. She could hardly control her actions and her thoughts anymore. She was becoming… someone that wasn’t her. She was normal. She looked normal, she acted normally, and she hated it. She wanted to stop, she wanted to be Addie again, not that stupid girl who looked exactly like her, minus the bright colored hair, but was only a scam. It wasn’t her. And she didn’t care about the rumors she heard around, either. Usually, rumors that bad she’d have tried to fight them. She’d have stood up for herself, she’d have yelled at every single person who’d caused it to be spread around the school. STD indeed. But she’d let Connor’s words get to her deeper than ever before. She tended to ignore what other people said, unless it was a close friend, and even then she argued until she just had to give in. And the mere fact that she was so affected by a crowd’s follower’s words sickened her to a certain extent.
There was, however, no denying that she’d fallen a bit harder than she’d planned to for Connor. She’d meant to control herself, to try and just be his friends with benefits like intended, to have no feelings, to just get the sex and be fine with it. She’d tried to keep herself from anything more than that, but it hadn’t turned out that way. She couldn’t say it was all lies anymore either. The way she’d acted after homecoming didn’t say ‘I don’t care about you, you were just a fuck’. It said ‘you got to me bad’. Worse than ever. And truth be told, she was scared shitless by all of it. She didn’t want to like him, not like that, because by now she knew there were no more chances of anything happening, not after her behavior. He’d just get himself another girl to sleep with and she’d be stuck faking orgasms for the rest of her life because there was no way sex could ever be as good with someone else than it’d been with him. And even her mother, her mother who hardly ever understood her daughter, her mother who never noticed anything, had asked her if something was wrong because of the last email she’d sent. That, all in all, was downright scary. She had to do something, and it had to happen fast.