Trying to Find the Words ((Taylor))
Nov 30, 2008 18:36:36 GMT -5
Post by Milo Parker on Nov 30, 2008 18:36:36 GMT -5
Milo took a deep breath as he made his way toward Taylor's dorm, having quite easily snuck into the building. He'd cleaned himself up from the previous day when Addie had found him sitting at the bar drinking away his feelings, or at least attempting to drink away his feelings. He felt a bit better at least about how things were, though he didn't entirely feel good. Addie was right when she said that he wasn't going to feel better until he made things better with Taylor. Though once he made things better with Taylor even, things wouldn't be completely fixed, they'd just be in a better state than they were at the current moment. He knew that it would take him a while to adjust to the thought of having a step mom and knew that he wasn't ever going to be happy about it. But just because he was unhappy with one aspect of his life didn't mean that he had to be unhappy in all aspects of it. So now all he had to do was just actually get through the whole process of apologizing to her and hoping that she would choose to take him back.
He was nervous about her not doing just that. Afraid that despite what Addie had said about Taylor needing him as much as he needed her, she'd decide that she really didn't need him and then he'd be screwed. Maybe she'd do exactly what he'd wanted her to do just a day ago. Maybe she'd hate him and never want to see him again. He didn't know what that would do to him if that were the case but he was pretty sure that it wouldn't be good. He'd felt horrible the last few days but at least there was that hope, that hope that things could be okay again sometime. Once he actually had to ask her for forgiveness that actually went out the window. If she said no he didn't even have that little bit of hope left. He knew that he wouldn't be a pretty sight to see if that happened that he'd drink an amount of alcohol that would not be healthy for him in any way shape or form but then again really Addie'd been right about a lot. He needed Taylor to have his happiness at the moment, so without her there'd be a lack of happiness.
He took another deep breath as he reached her dorm door. He was getting ahead of himself though, the main thing that he had to worry about in this moment was what he was going to say. How he was going to have to explain himself to Taylor, it was likely to involve a lot of admittance of things. Well obviously, he planned to admit that he loved her. That he needed her and all the other stuff that he'd admitted to Addie in the previous day. He wasn't really looking forward to it, but at least he knew that Taylor would be patient... well he hoped that she would patient anyway. Care enough to wait a few minutes to just listen to his side of the story. Taylor wasn't Addie, that much was for sure. But he probably had a better chance with Taylor than he would with Addie for that reason. She wouldn't push him like Addie did and it was something that he needed. He just needed someone to listen to what he had to say and let him say it all first. He ran his hand through his hair once in a nervous gesture before he actually knocked on the door, waiting for her to answer.