Spoken Aloud ([Roxanne])
Jan 8, 2009 22:45:32 GMT -5
Post by Elijah Emerson on Jan 8, 2009 22:45:32 GMT -5
There was no mistaking the undeniable feeling of dread that’d been passing through every bone in Lijah’s body since the day he’d ended his relationship with Roxanne. And the days of constant debate with himself on the days leading up to that had been torture. The succeeding days had been…indescribable. His emotions had been outrageously destroyed, made worse by the fact that he wasn’t truly used to appearing and feeling so emotional. It was new to him, the whole situation of beating himself up over anyone but his dad. Not only that, but he wasn’t used to being so fond of someone; so much in love with her that it hurt to be apart. Sure, he’d loved people, but it was different for her. He needed and wanted her so badly at times when she wasn’t around that it was painful. And it was a scary thing to depend on someone that much. It was more than an ache; physical aching he could ice and call it a day, but he couldn’t ice his heart. And it really hadn’t been that long since he’d ended it, maybe a month or so, but that overwhelming feeling of loneliness and want made it feel like a lifetime.
That was way too long of a time for either of them to feel the way they’d been feeling. Too many tears shed on her part, for his liking. And it never helped that each day that passed by, with reminders of her everywhere, made his heart feel like it was breaking even more. And he’d always been so excellent at killing downer moods, but for the past month all he’d been focusing on were his problems – missing Roxanne, and remembering his father – and trying to be happy at least. He’d succeeded in certain ways, but then it always lead back to sadness when he was thinking about how happy Roxanne had made him. Fusing all of that together equaled a very unstable and unhappy Elijah; a regretful and sorrowful man. And he needed to rectify that now. It was the reason he currently stood knocking at dorm 154, with rings – that signified not only love and promise, but a hope that Elijah was holding onto on whether or not he’d screwed up enough not to be forgiven – kept safely in his jacket pocket.
No answer. That only added to his worry, because what if she were inside ignoring the door. Well, she couldn’t have because she’d have had to gotten up to see who it was, or at least called out to see who. And maybe she was just that broken. His frown deepened as he continued knocking, this time a bit harder than before. No sound, no movement, no call. He turned his back to lean up against the door, sticking his hands into his pockets and toying with the box, and the ribbon that enclosed it. Waiting was no problem; he’d wait as long as he needed for someone to go in, or for someone to come out. He was not leaving – unless he got caught by an authority figure – until he at least fixed her. Until he got to say he was sorry and tell her how he really felt about her, and get her back. Hanging his head after checking his watch for the time, he brought his foot up to rest against the door. Apparently, he wouldn’t be waiting long as he heard footsteps and looked up, and his mouth fell open as he breathed her name. “Roxanne.”
That was way too long of a time for either of them to feel the way they’d been feeling. Too many tears shed on her part, for his liking. And it never helped that each day that passed by, with reminders of her everywhere, made his heart feel like it was breaking even more. And he’d always been so excellent at killing downer moods, but for the past month all he’d been focusing on were his problems – missing Roxanne, and remembering his father – and trying to be happy at least. He’d succeeded in certain ways, but then it always lead back to sadness when he was thinking about how happy Roxanne had made him. Fusing all of that together equaled a very unstable and unhappy Elijah; a regretful and sorrowful man. And he needed to rectify that now. It was the reason he currently stood knocking at dorm 154, with rings – that signified not only love and promise, but a hope that Elijah was holding onto on whether or not he’d screwed up enough not to be forgiven – kept safely in his jacket pocket.
No answer. That only added to his worry, because what if she were inside ignoring the door. Well, she couldn’t have because she’d have had to gotten up to see who it was, or at least called out to see who. And maybe she was just that broken. His frown deepened as he continued knocking, this time a bit harder than before. No sound, no movement, no call. He turned his back to lean up against the door, sticking his hands into his pockets and toying with the box, and the ribbon that enclosed it. Waiting was no problem; he’d wait as long as he needed for someone to go in, or for someone to come out. He was not leaving – unless he got caught by an authority figure – until he at least fixed her. Until he got to say he was sorry and tell her how he really felt about her, and get her back. Hanging his head after checking his watch for the time, he brought his foot up to rest against the door. Apparently, he wouldn’t be waiting long as he heard footsteps and looked up, and his mouth fell open as he breathed her name. “Roxanne.”