Free Time
Feb 25, 2008 20:25:16 GMT -5
Post by Connor Micklesen on Feb 25, 2008 20:25:16 GMT -5
Connor listened as she spoke, frowning as he kept heard what she said. He was a bit offended by what she said to him. That wasn't how he thought of himself, that wasn't the way that he'd like to be thought of by other people either. He didn't think of himself as something afraid to be different, or someone who was trying to blend into the crowd. He was quiet, yes and he liked to be able to blend in when he pleased - not all the time, when he pleased. But he didn't repress himself or any of the ways that he acted or felt just to fit in. He wasn't that type of person, or at least not in his own mind was he that type of person. He knew that he was a different person, he just didn't always show it. A lot of the times he just didn't want to show it to everyone, didn't feel the need to show it off to everyone. He was happy how he was viewed by others, or at least he thought he was. Until she said that to him, it confused him a little. Because he knew what he wanted to believe, but at the same time he knew that people who looked from the outside usually saw people the best. They weren't attached with certain things with thoughts and pride and other things that kept people from clearly seeing himself. He didn't want to believe her words, so he decided that he wouldn't. Maybe by telling himself that they weren't true it would prove it, or someone make it be not true if it was.
"I'm not afraid to be different," he told her, his voice confident in his words. Actually his voice was a lot more confident then his mind was, it was something that he was thankful for at that moment in time. Because he wanted to be able to believe his words, and he wanted her to be able to believe them as well. "I don't not want to stand out. I simply don't want to be the center of attention. I know people, I know a lot of people. I don't hide who I am around them or anyone else. I just don't happen to be a person like you." He looked at her and wondered if she knew what he meant by that. "I'm not a person who is born to stand out in the crowd and I've accepted it. I'm not someone who everyone necessarily thinks of as different. I'm just someone who has similar qualities to the people around me." That sounded worse out loud then it did in his head, he had to admit as soon as he heard it but he didn't really care he was trying to make a point. No matter how stupid he sounded making that point. "But that doesn't mean that I'm not afraid to be who I really am. I am always who I really am and people like me just fine for it."
He wondered for a minute how she'd react to his little rant of sorts. Though actually he didn't care that much about it in all honesty. After all he was being who he really was and he was talking about exactly the same things that he was thinking about, so he was being himself. Which was what he was out to prove to her anyway. A thought crossed his mind, why did he even care what she thought about him anyway? She was just some random girl in his class who went to his school with him. So it didn't matter what she thought of him. Maybe he was trying to prove to himself more then he was to her, that was the more likely option as he thought about it.