March 29th, 2009
Apr 3, 2009 5:57:04 GMT -5
Post by Jillian Cabell on Apr 3, 2009 5:57:04 GMT -5
Querido Diario,
Yesterday I had a chat with one of the besties, Abigail about her liking for my other bestie Oliver – who apparently hates being called Ollie for whatever reason…I personally love the nickname. And vice versa. But unfortunately both the pains in the ass are in denial about it. Oliver because he’s probably confused about her and Felicia – which lemme tell you there’s nothing happy about that thing. And Abby because she wants to pretend that she hates him, when I know her well enough to know she doesn’t. Plus, who could possibly hate the guy? It’s funny to me that it would be Abby, because they’re one in the same to me. Opposite genders of the same person. Abigail’s closed off and secluded, as is Oliver except when he has to be mimgly. He doesn’t really like meeting new people, and rarely sticks around unless…once again he has to. They both have ridiculous eyes, sure, Abby’s stand out more because she’s both pale and has that signature hair, but they both do. Abby’s ridiculously self-conscious, when in reality she’s totally a beautiful chick, and I often feel like Oliver is as well as much as he compensates for it. Why else would he be dating that bimbo. And for that matter what do he and Pierce see in that girl, my God, she’s like a walking minority Barbie. Though he has enough chicks flocking at him to not be that way, I don’t know maybe I’m overjudging it, but I know for sure that they like each other, and it’s the best type you see in movies. For all Abby’s having trouble with her video, hers and Ollie’s resistance would make the perfect film.
And then there’s the whole thing with Andrew that’s got my mind working like clockwork. I don’t know what it is that makes me so attracted to him, especially because I was completely convinced that I don’t like guys and that girls are my choice. I mean I even thought briefly about sex with the guy…WHILE I was in his car being tested by him…which only made my embarrassment worse. And I think he’s one of the only people who have that power over me, and it burns me up inside yes, but it’s also refreshing. I’ve never really thought about sex with anyone, and I certainly shouldn’t be dreaming of Andrew Preston. Especially now that we’re not speaking and aren’t on the best of terms. But I am. I mean that whole thing with Owen really should have been none of my business, and maybe I should have let Andrew handle it, but if handling it meant punching one of my friends, well he damn right better believe I wouldn’t allow that. Well...even though no one but Abby, Pierce and Oliver know about my secret obsession and the trophies under my bed – that I’d have on display if I wanted everyone to know about it. And plus the princess I share a room with might think it weird for a girl to be into martial arts, not that I care, just saying. But anyway, back on topic. Andrew. I really don’t know what his problem is, so I protected someone, big deal. I think his whole deal is that he’s just as confused as I am and he just took out his frustration on me while he was in that mood.
Which probably is a bit my fault, I had been flirting with him. And not lightly either, and I’m supposed to be the gay chick sophomore chick. Gah, but even still, he shouldn’t still be brooding. Plus I want to talk to him, despite how I’m slightly afraid that he hates me now. Maybe I’ll invite him over and just hope to God he shows. Man, thinking back on it, I think that I actually wanted to kiss him that day, even after everything that happened and after everything he spat at me. But I’ve never really kissed anyone before. What if he finds my inexperience daunting? Worse off…what if he laughs at me and finds me less attractive because I’m a loser and I’ve never kissed anyone before. Maybe I’ll ask Kristen how to kiss someone, but she’s been pretty mad at me since she found out about me hanging out with womaneater Andrew Preston. But at lea…well whatever. She’ll help me if she loves me. Which she does and even she can’t resist my puppy dog eyes. I just won’t tell her I’m thinking about kissing Andrew Preston. Yea, that’ll be fine. Sounds like a movie title. Kissing Andrew Preston: the Untold story. Starring Andrew Preston and the inexperienced hot Latina sophomore girl who’s into chicks. Ugh. I hate him. Why’s he have to be so awesome, he could be like any regular guy and it’d be easier. Anyways, I think I’ll call him and ask him to meet me at my dorm after I come back from the gym with Oliver and Elijah, or if he ignores it, I’ll probably end up heading over to his, which won’t be as pretty.
Te amo mucho,
Jillian
P.S. Maybe asking Kristen is a bad idea, how would one practice kissing with their sister anyway? Maybe I’ll ask Pierce to help me. Sounds like a better idea.
[/size]