March 26th, 2009
Apr 6, 2009 15:32:41 GMT -5
Post by Taylor Smith on Apr 6, 2009 15:32:41 GMT -5
((for those who can't see the correct font (which is Taylor's handwriting), an example of it can be found here, in her profile))
Dear Diary,
There hasn't been much happenings lately around the school. A few people have left to go back home for Spring break so I guess that might explain it, I know Elijah is at his place with Roxanne. And then Addie hasn't been too well... which is pretty understandable I think. I don't know how I would feel if my mother kept a stepfather and a new baby on the way from me, and even though I'm really close to mama I guess it's not the same thing as Addie, considering they've only had one another for the past six or so years. I do hope things will be better though, because I'm sure Addie misses her mom. Of course it was unfair of her to keep such important information hidden, but she's her mom... in the end I'm sure it'll all be alright, and then I can really picture her in the big sister role, she'd be great with a young sibling. Even though she claims she doesn't want anything to do with the baby, I'm sure she'll change her mind when she sees him or her.
It's a bit weird thinking of Addie that way though, a few months back I wouldn't have figured she'd be so good with babies... with kids, yes, but she didn't seem the least interested in the whole baby thing. But since the girls' evening, well... I still have trouble seeing her with the whole big American dream, but I guess loving someone can change a person in some ways. Of course she's still same old Addie and we all love her that way, though she can be a bit trying sometimes, but in essentials she hasn't changed at all. It's just her dreams and hopes, I guess, and I can't really blame her for those. I have the same, but it scares me at times... because I do want to have Milo in my life even after I get a bit older, but I know what his opinion is on getting married and having children. And I mean, it's not as though I'd be ready to have babies right after graduating or anything like that, I would really love to work as hard as possible for a career, but after a while I know I'd want a family life. But he doesn't really seem to want that.
I don't want to push him in anything, obviously, but the more I think of it, the more I can't help but think it will be so hard to grow old and have no children. And I love him so much, but at the same time do we really want the same things in life and how can it work out if we don't? I guess we'll just have to see, because the last thing I want to be thinking of right now is living without him, he's so amazing and perfect and the mere thought of being without him hurts. Addie says he'll probably change his mind when he's older, and if he doesn't that I should just seduce him to the point of making him forget protection (trust her for that kind of a suggestion) but I don't want to trick him or push him into having a baby. If we ever do have a baby, I want him to want it as much as me, I want him to be happy about it. But I guess I shouldn't worry about that. After all, there are much more important things to worry about, like final examinations drawing closer and closer, the dance recital at the end of the year (I'm so glad and greatful I got the first role, I really hope I'll meet Mrs. Meyer's expectations) and then summer. I believe it's the first year in so long I haven't looked forward to those months of peace and relaxation, because they will be months without my friends and without Milo. And then coming back next year, he won't be there. The thought almost makes me want to cry, but I suppose if it's meant to be, distance will not change a thing. I'll still miss him horribly.
It's getting late now, and I need to be up early tomorrow. I planned on practicing a great part of the day before meeting up with Milo in the afternoon, and I want to be in shape and awake for the whole day.
Taylor xxx
Dear Diary,
There hasn't been much happenings lately around the school. A few people have left to go back home for Spring break so I guess that might explain it, I know Elijah is at his place with Roxanne. And then Addie hasn't been too well... which is pretty understandable I think. I don't know how I would feel if my mother kept a stepfather and a new baby on the way from me, and even though I'm really close to mama I guess it's not the same thing as Addie, considering they've only had one another for the past six or so years. I do hope things will be better though, because I'm sure Addie misses her mom. Of course it was unfair of her to keep such important information hidden, but she's her mom... in the end I'm sure it'll all be alright, and then I can really picture her in the big sister role, she'd be great with a young sibling. Even though she claims she doesn't want anything to do with the baby, I'm sure she'll change her mind when she sees him or her.
It's a bit weird thinking of Addie that way though, a few months back I wouldn't have figured she'd be so good with babies... with kids, yes, but she didn't seem the least interested in the whole baby thing. But since the girls' evening, well... I still have trouble seeing her with the whole big American dream, but I guess loving someone can change a person in some ways. Of course she's still same old Addie and we all love her that way, though she can be a bit trying sometimes, but in essentials she hasn't changed at all. It's just her dreams and hopes, I guess, and I can't really blame her for those. I have the same, but it scares me at times... because I do want to have Milo in my life even after I get a bit older, but I know what his opinion is on getting married and having children. And I mean, it's not as though I'd be ready to have babies right after graduating or anything like that, I would really love to work as hard as possible for a career, but after a while I know I'd want a family life. But he doesn't really seem to want that.
I don't want to push him in anything, obviously, but the more I think of it, the more I can't help but think it will be so hard to grow old and have no children. And I love him so much, but at the same time do we really want the same things in life and how can it work out if we don't? I guess we'll just have to see, because the last thing I want to be thinking of right now is living without him, he's so amazing and perfect and the mere thought of being without him hurts. Addie says he'll probably change his mind when he's older, and if he doesn't that I should just seduce him to the point of making him forget protection (trust her for that kind of a suggestion) but I don't want to trick him or push him into having a baby. If we ever do have a baby, I want him to want it as much as me, I want him to be happy about it. But I guess I shouldn't worry about that. After all, there are much more important things to worry about, like final examinations drawing closer and closer, the dance recital at the end of the year (I'm so glad and greatful I got the first role, I really hope I'll meet Mrs. Meyer's expectations) and then summer. I believe it's the first year in so long I haven't looked forward to those months of peace and relaxation, because they will be months without my friends and without Milo. And then coming back next year, he won't be there. The thought almost makes me want to cry, but I suppose if it's meant to be, distance will not change a thing. I'll still miss him horribly.
It's getting late now, and I need to be up early tomorrow. I planned on practicing a great part of the day before meeting up with Milo in the afternoon, and I want to be in shape and awake for the whole day.
Taylor xxx