June 10, 2009
Jun 26, 2009 19:47:27 GMT -5
Post by Evelynne Reeves on Jun 26, 2009 19:47:27 GMT -5
Dear Diary,
I'm pretty nervous at this point. My speech date keeps growing closer which means that graduation keeps growing closer and I don't know if I can handle that. It's all too much at this point to try and sort through. I don't want this year to be over, I don't want high school to be over not at all. And more than anything I don't want to be going away from Ian. I just... I just want more time. Is that too much to ask? Everything seems to be zipping past so fast that I don't know how I'm supposed to handle it. It's just hitting me again and again with each day that seems to pass much too quickly for my liking. It's worse than it usually is, much more so. Each day feels just like a minute passing and even then it seems like a minute that's short quite a few seconds.
And it's just... it's not fair. It's not fair that it should be this way. If I just been born like twelve hours later I would be able to spend another whole year with Ian still. True, that would mean that we'd share a birthday which would be in some ways a bit weird but I don't care. I'd much rather just be with him for a bit longer. Instead, while most couples that have plans to stay together with age gaps of a graduating Senior and another grade are still getting to stay near each other I'm heading off to the east coast. Not fair. Not fair in the slightest. I know Ian wants me to do what I already had plans to do so I won't regret anything but I think the only thing I'm going to regret is not seeing him.
And of course there's this dumb speech. I hate speeches. They're stupid and dumb and useless. No one is going to want to listen to me talk about well.. anything. It's just a big headache and I can't seem to get it right anyway. So on top of already having an uninterested audience I'm going to have a sucky speech to say to the few that want to listen. Ian is definitely not going to be proud of me after he hears it. Maybe I should warn him ahead of time so that he won't have high expectations for it.
I think I'll see if I can make it any better though. Might as well, since Ian is off playing right now. I wish I would have asked to go with him instead.
Evie
I'm pretty nervous at this point. My speech date keeps growing closer which means that graduation keeps growing closer and I don't know if I can handle that. It's all too much at this point to try and sort through. I don't want this year to be over, I don't want high school to be over not at all. And more than anything I don't want to be going away from Ian. I just... I just want more time. Is that too much to ask? Everything seems to be zipping past so fast that I don't know how I'm supposed to handle it. It's just hitting me again and again with each day that seems to pass much too quickly for my liking. It's worse than it usually is, much more so. Each day feels just like a minute passing and even then it seems like a minute that's short quite a few seconds.
And it's just... it's not fair. It's not fair that it should be this way. If I just been born like twelve hours later I would be able to spend another whole year with Ian still. True, that would mean that we'd share a birthday which would be in some ways a bit weird but I don't care. I'd much rather just be with him for a bit longer. Instead, while most couples that have plans to stay together with age gaps of a graduating Senior and another grade are still getting to stay near each other I'm heading off to the east coast. Not fair. Not fair in the slightest. I know Ian wants me to do what I already had plans to do so I won't regret anything but I think the only thing I'm going to regret is not seeing him.
And of course there's this dumb speech. I hate speeches. They're stupid and dumb and useless. No one is going to want to listen to me talk about well.. anything. It's just a big headache and I can't seem to get it right anyway. So on top of already having an uninterested audience I'm going to have a sucky speech to say to the few that want to listen. Ian is definitely not going to be proud of me after he hears it. Maybe I should warn him ahead of time so that he won't have high expectations for it.
I think I'll see if I can make it any better though. Might as well, since Ian is off playing right now. I wish I would have asked to go with him instead.
Evie