Lisa Ferguson to Bretton Ferguson
Aug 11, 2009 15:53:21 GMT -5
Post by Bretton Ferguson on Aug 11, 2009 15:53:21 GMT -5
August 20, 2009
Dear Bretton,
I'm sure that I'm probably the last person that you expect or even want to hear from, but I figure that I'll still write to you anyway. I at least have to try. I got your address from Rebecca when I called their house, I hope that you don't mind.
I have to apologize first and foremost for everything that I put you through. I handled things badly and you deserved better than that. I ask though, that even if you can't forgive me you can at least try and see things from my point of view. When your father got taken away, I couldn't handle going on with life the way that it was and I definitely couldn't handle raising you, not in my state of mind. I loved your father and I still do even, so having him taken from me after I tried so hard to keep him around.. it wasn't easy on me. I couldn't be a good mom to you like that. So I brought you to your brother and his wife because it was the best thing for you. Daniel has always been responsible and has always looked after you anyway. From what I hear he's done a pretty great job with you and has gotten you into places I never could have. I'm glad that at least something good has come out of all the bad. He's been better for you than I would have been these past six years and I know that you wouldn't have even wanted to be around me if you had the choice.
I let myself go and did things that I'm not proud of, even served a little jail time myself. I'm only glad that of everything I waited until you weren't around to be involved in any of it and that you never had to witness it. I'm in alochol rehabilitation right now, which is one of the reasons why I'm writing you; I can't be better until I learn how to fix things with you and your brother. I don't want the two of you going through life hating me, even if I might deserve it. I ask though, if there's even a tiny chance for you to talk with me that you do so. I'm not forcing you or pressuring you, since i know that it will be hard and that you owe me nothing now. My return address is on the envelope though, if you do choose to write back.
Love,
Mom