September 10th, 2009
Aug 13, 2009 23:37:39 GMT -5
Post by Kimberly Nolan on Aug 13, 2009 23:37:39 GMT -5
Dear Brett,
It feels like forever since I last saw you and it's a lot harder than I'd imagined it would be - well, more like hoped it would be, because I figured the time would appear to pass quicker if I didn't miss you too much. But it's just as if there was a part of me missing and I can't wait to find it back. I miss talking with you and singing with you and being silent with you. I miss seeing you next to me when I wake up and cuddling close to you when I go to sleep. I miss having your arms around me, feeling your hands on my body, the way your lips feel against mine and against my skin. I miss your smile, your eyes and the way you look at me. I miss everything about you, I even miss arguing with you.
I feel like I must be going insane. Maybe it's the exhaustion finally getting to me, like I haven't been realizing just how tired I've been in the past few weeks because I've been living off rushes of adrenaline. Last week we started combat training, and I was lucky enough to be picked for the competition at the end. I won... and now my legs and arms feel sore still, and I have bruises in so many places I couldn't name them all. I have a suspicion a lot of those come from other stuff, though, but then I hardly ever notice when I bump into something or do anything that might give me a bruise that I have no clue where they come from when they do appear.
We had to do the Victory Tower, too, and I had no idea I was afraid of heights until that moment. Then again, it's not like I've ever been hanging off the edge of a platform that has no really solid fence and that's about fifty feet high. But that's nothing compared to the gas chamber... of course it's no gas that's dangerous for your health or anything of the sort, but man do you wish you were dead when you breathe it in. Some people managed not to, when they were asked to tell their name or social security number, but I happened to be stuck with reciting the pledge of allegiance. Though, truth be told, I think even the people who didn't breathe in while talking were made to take a deep breath before leaving the chamber. I'm just glad I wasn't of the number that threw up.
Mrs. Philips must be wondering if the end of the world is coming soon if you, of all people, are giving her trouble during her classes. I'm sure you could find other people to sing with quite nicely, because at the end of the day, I'll be there to sing with you for quite some time after that. I do miss vocal classes though... actually, I miss practically everything but English Lit and Math classes. I should probably tell you off for calling it boring.
As for your mom... you need to do it in your own time. Do it when you know you want to, not because you feel the need to. Being left behind is not something easily forgiven, and there's no point in writing back if through it all you'll still feel angry or resentful. You're one of the nicest people I know and I'm sure someday you'll find the strenght to forgive and write back. Until then you've got all the time of the world.
I should be calling you soon, probably halfway through the month, and you phone better be charged! At this point I should have a good amount of minutes accumulated for our conversation to last long enough, and you would probably laugh at me if you saw how excited I am at the mere thought of hearing your voice again. Until then I'll just keep dreaming of it.
I love you,
Kimmy.
It feels like forever since I last saw you and it's a lot harder than I'd imagined it would be - well, more like hoped it would be, because I figured the time would appear to pass quicker if I didn't miss you too much. But it's just as if there was a part of me missing and I can't wait to find it back. I miss talking with you and singing with you and being silent with you. I miss seeing you next to me when I wake up and cuddling close to you when I go to sleep. I miss having your arms around me, feeling your hands on my body, the way your lips feel against mine and against my skin. I miss your smile, your eyes and the way you look at me. I miss everything about you, I even miss arguing with you.
I feel like I must be going insane. Maybe it's the exhaustion finally getting to me, like I haven't been realizing just how tired I've been in the past few weeks because I've been living off rushes of adrenaline. Last week we started combat training, and I was lucky enough to be picked for the competition at the end. I won... and now my legs and arms feel sore still, and I have bruises in so many places I couldn't name them all. I have a suspicion a lot of those come from other stuff, though, but then I hardly ever notice when I bump into something or do anything that might give me a bruise that I have no clue where they come from when they do appear.
We had to do the Victory Tower, too, and I had no idea I was afraid of heights until that moment. Then again, it's not like I've ever been hanging off the edge of a platform that has no really solid fence and that's about fifty feet high. But that's nothing compared to the gas chamber... of course it's no gas that's dangerous for your health or anything of the sort, but man do you wish you were dead when you breathe it in. Some people managed not to, when they were asked to tell their name or social security number, but I happened to be stuck with reciting the pledge of allegiance. Though, truth be told, I think even the people who didn't breathe in while talking were made to take a deep breath before leaving the chamber. I'm just glad I wasn't of the number that threw up.
Mrs. Philips must be wondering if the end of the world is coming soon if you, of all people, are giving her trouble during her classes. I'm sure you could find other people to sing with quite nicely, because at the end of the day, I'll be there to sing with you for quite some time after that. I do miss vocal classes though... actually, I miss practically everything but English Lit and Math classes. I should probably tell you off for calling it boring.
As for your mom... you need to do it in your own time. Do it when you know you want to, not because you feel the need to. Being left behind is not something easily forgiven, and there's no point in writing back if through it all you'll still feel angry or resentful. You're one of the nicest people I know and I'm sure someday you'll find the strenght to forgive and write back. Until then you've got all the time of the world.
I should be calling you soon, probably halfway through the month, and you phone better be charged! At this point I should have a good amount of minutes accumulated for our conversation to last long enough, and you would probably laugh at me if you saw how excited I am at the mere thought of hearing your voice again. Until then I'll just keep dreaming of it.
I love you,
Kimmy.